


Hold Me

by jj_unfinished



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Confusion, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Marauders' Era, Slight fluff, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 23:55:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16733064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jj_unfinished/pseuds/jj_unfinished
Summary: The reader comes to Sirius upset about Remus…what happens when he tells you something that turns your life upside down?





	Hold Me

You cried as he held you. You were entirely out of strength to stop yourself from becoming a blubbering mess in front of your best friend. You resolved to stop. Which was easier said than done at this point. Sirius rubbed circles on your back as he held you tightly to his chest, not caring if his shirt got all gross from tears and snot. Seeing you breakdown was breaking his heart. You were almost always the toughest one in the friend group, comforting others in their times of need. And Sirius was more than willing to help you through your rough times. In fact, he had been begging you to open up to him for months. He knew something was wrong. But he couldn’t quite figure it out. Until now. The finial piece of the puzzle.

Remus had revealed to your friends that he had gone all the way with his girlfriend, Ana. When you heard the ‘good news’ you felt all semblance of hope drain out of your body. You had quickly tacked on a bright smile and congratulated Remus. He was beaming with pride, knowing that all of his friends were happy for him and his relationship. Little did he know.

You pulled away from Sirius, cheeks tinged with embarrassment and eyes already a bit puffy. It was a stupid thing to be so upset about, you knew that. And you had no idea how Sirius would react when you told him. But it was too late at this point not to tell him because you knew he would never leave you alone about it otherwise. He pushed your hair away from your eyes, briefly resting his hand on your cheek. He wanted you to know that no matter what it was that he cared.

“It’s okay,” he soothed. “You’re okay.”

You took a deep breath to calm yourself. “It’s Remus,” you admit quietly, your voice croaky. Sirius cocks his head in confusion so you continue. “I…he had…never mind, it’s stupid…” You start to turn away from him but he grabbed your hand.

“If it’s upsetting you this much then it can’t be stupid,” Sirius assures you. You hesitate but continue after a moment, his worried gaze never leaving your face.

“Remus had sex with Ana.”

Sirius shakes his head. “So?”

“So,” you sigh, “I’m…in love with him?”

“What?”

“I told you it was stupid.” You try to walk away but his hand pulls you toward him again. “Sirius…”

“It’s just that…is that why you’ve been acting so weird the past couple months? Because Moony’s got himself a girlfriend?”

You nod, looking at the floor.

“You’re ten times the person Ana is,” he starts. “You’re smarter, funnier, way prettier, you always come up with the best pranks…”

“You just say that to make me feel better,” you mumble.

There’s a fire in Sirius’ eye now. “No, (Y/N), I’m not. I’m telling you that because it’s true. And Remus is a bloody idiot if he can’t see that!”

“Why am I a bloody idiot?” Remus asks, walking over to where the two of you sit in the grass. Uh oh.

You quickly turn away from the both of them and start picking blades of grass to distract yourself from saying something stupid.

Remus takes in the scene in front of him: Sirius with a wet spot on his chest, the glimpse of your swollen eyes and flushed face, and your avoidance of him, which was so unlike you.

“(Y/N), have you been crying?” There is worry in Remus’ voice. You never cry like this, and you’d always gone to him when you had. Not that he didn’t trust Sirius but this worried him.

“I’m fine, Remus. Just had a bad day,” you supply. That wasn’t exactly wrong.

Remus shot a worried look to Sirius who just shrugged as if to agree with your statement. After a while of standing there hoping you would say something more he made to leave the two of you alone.

“I’ll have some chocolate for you when you come back inside.”

You kept your head down until you were sure he had gone and then turn to look at Sirius, who gives you a small smile.

“What?”

“He’s worried about you, you know. He just doesn’t share his chocolate stash with anyone,” Sirius reminds you. You shrug and collapse back onto the grass.

“He’ll hate me if I tell him,” you moan. “Because if— mind you there’s not much of a chance— but if he likes me back then he’d have to choose between me and Ana and that would hurt him. I don’t want to do that to him.”

“I think the choice is rather clear,” Sirius says confidently.

“Yeah— Ana.”

He shakes his head. “No you git. You.”

“But he had sex with her.”

“And he’s sharing his chocolate stash with you.”

You laugh at that. “Definitely not the same thing, Sirius.”

“No, but Remus just doesn’t go and offer his chocolate to just anybody.”

“And he doesn’t just go out and have sex with just anybody like you, either,” you counter.

A hurt look flashes over Sirius’ face. “I don’t just go out and have sex with just anybody.”

“Right, so all those girls meant something to you then?” You didn’t know why you were antagonizing him. Probably to re-establish your ‘hard’ façade.

“You’re right— they didn’t. Because the person I want to have sex with doesn’t even have an inkling that I like them.”

“Oh, Sirius Black actually having real feelings for a girl? Good one, mate.”

“Stop it,” Sirius says angrily. “I didn’t do that to you about Remus.”

You duck your head in shame. You hadn’t meant to take out your frustration on your best friend. “Sorry. I’m just upset is all,” you apologize.

“I get it: the person I like doesn’t like me back— she likes someone else.”

You take his hand. “How can you be so sure, Sirius? You’re a great person. I’m sure whomever she is thinks you’re fantastic.”

He just looks at your hands. “Oh, I know she does.”

“Then how are you so sure that she doesn’t like you?”

Now it was Sirius’ turn to look away from you. “Because she just told me she’s in love with Remus Lupin.”

You felt like someone punched you in the gut. You were completely thrown off by Sirius’ admission. Sirius Black liked you? But you liked Remus. (Right??)

“I…excuse me?” You couldn’t help your bewilderment.

“Listen, (Y/N). I just wanted to let you know. It’s been killing me for years. And…and I thought maybe I had a chance up until now. I get it, you like Moony and I can see why— he’s everything I’m not.”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s true, isn’t it? He’s got your heart and that’s all that really matters.”

You give his hand a squeeze and then hop up from the grassy spot. “I’d best be off.”

“Did I say something wrong?”

You shake your head. “No, I just…I need to do some thinking.”

Your statement emboldened Sirius’ hopes. Which he then promptly cursed himself for bothering to get his hopes up at all. Like you had said, you liked Remus— not him.  
Later that evening you finally joined your friends in the common room. You had spent the day hiding from them, although they had the Map you knew that Sirius would tell them not to bother going after you. When you did emerge, the first person that caught your eye was not Remus like usual but Sirius. His eye caught yours and you couldn’t help but look away in embarrassment.

“(Y/N)! We’ve missed you!” James greeted you. You just stood there stupidly, afraid that looking at Remus would undo all the hard thinking you had just done. “(Y/N)?”

“Sirius, can I talk to you? Alone?” You asked quietly. The other boys looked at Sirius in confusion but he stood up and walked over to you. You looked at him and he jerked his head toward his dormitory. He lead the way.

When you go up to his bed, he sat down, gesturing for you to join him. You hesitantly sat next to him.

“Sirius, I’ve been thinking,” you began. “And I think there’s something that you should know.”

He looked at you expectantly.

“I think that we should date.” There, you said it.

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t have a chance with Remus and you’re right when you said that you’re everything he’s not. That’s what I like about you,” you clarified.

He shook his head. “So I’m your second choice?” He asked testily.

“N-no!”

“It sure seems like it. Just a few hours ago you were telling me you were in love with Remus!”

“That’s because I never considered having a chance with you!”

“What?”

You stand up. “You have always been with girl after girl. I just figured that there was no room in your heart for me.”

“That is so far from the truth,” he whispered.

You felt a surge in your heart and you leaned in to kiss him. He was thoroughly surprised that you were kissing him. After all these years.

When you broke away there was a grin on Sirius’ face. “Hopefully I’m your last choice.”

You smile and take his hand, giving it a squeeze.

**Author's Note:**

> previously posted to bearwriteme.tumblr.com


End file.
